The feeling that was.....

A feeling that refuses to die out, a feeling of excitement mixed with fear and failure and much more that lie beyond the periphery of explanation. A feeling that you have just before the outcome of an event, just before the result of your work, a work that you have been pursuing for so long that it has become a part of you now, a work that you have given your heart and soul to.

It was one of those days; I was waiting for the result of something very important that I had undertook; something for which I knew no half measures. I was waiting for that day for quite some time now.

The result was about to come. I could feel my heartbeat now, it was scary. I could actually feel it pumping blood to the whole body. My ears were starting to get a bit warm, which often produces a feeling so uneasy that I begin to get irritated to death, for no reason. I felt like running a lil so that I could calm myself down. I was trying to blurt out certain things, say everything, so anything that would placate me, pacify me.

I went to the idol of Gods put up in a lil temple like structure nearby, prayed to him, asked him to give me what I deserve, no, what I desire, no, what I deserve, Ahh, I was too nervous, too scared perhaps, I could feel, I was panicking. The result was going to be out in a few minutes, and those few minute passed away with equivalence to years.

Well, whatever the result was, I realized something very important. After the results were announced, I no longer had that panicking feeling, that anxiety, that excitement mixed with tension and fear. I felt detached with what I had been pursuing for so long, I felt betrayed, I felt cheated, deceived and what not. 

I realized the journey to the destination had unknowingly become so important. I learnt that it is not always the end result that matters; there are more important things in life, things that are priceless, things that are implicit, and things that prove their worth the most when they are gone.