I felt a strange kind of peace that day. Life had been rushed and I hardly found any time to be one with myself. Suddenly, there were no phone calls, my laptop had been on hibernation since 10 hours, no loud music was playing around, a certain sort of void was creeping in. The feeling that you get when staring endlessly into a white board or a black slate. It seems like something is building up but effectively nothing is happening. A phase of life was nearing it's end. I couldn't wait but time would just not pass as if waiting for a light flicker before a final whoosh, out of the book.
I wanted to see if birds still perch at my balcony, if kids outside still play 'Hide n Seek', if TV channels still show the same reality show at 9pm, but I knew what was holding me back. Many of human tragedies have been a result of fear that finds a comfortable cushion in holds of our subconscious. I too had one.
The fear of these small things, those birds not being there, kids not lingering around, TV showing something I was not familiar with. So what it really meant for me if all these things changed?
While I was away making a mark of my own, the world was changing over. The impact I made seems effervescent, already lost in the transformation. I am nascent again. Should I start over again, and what if my world changes again?
May be I know the answers to the why's and what's and how's but still choose not to act. What once started as self-propeller is giving way and treading the easier. How I wish qualities persisted throughout, even when the pursuit is aced. Notwithstanding these, answers are still sought, for the good of me. Me, in a world left behind, but he's catching up. At least, there's a desire.
I wanted to see if birds still perch at my balcony, if kids outside still play 'Hide n Seek', if TV channels still show the same reality show at 9pm, but I knew what was holding me back. Many of human tragedies have been a result of fear that finds a comfortable cushion in holds of our subconscious. I too had one.
The fear of these small things, those birds not being there, kids not lingering around, TV showing something I was not familiar with. So what it really meant for me if all these things changed?
While I was away making a mark of my own, the world was changing over. The impact I made seems effervescent, already lost in the transformation. I am nascent again. Should I start over again, and what if my world changes again?
May be I know the answers to the why's and what's and how's but still choose not to act. What once started as self-propeller is giving way and treading the easier. How I wish qualities persisted throughout, even when the pursuit is aced. Notwithstanding these, answers are still sought, for the good of me. Me, in a world left behind, but he's catching up. At least, there's a desire.
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